SALAD NEWSLETTER - APRIL 1995

Maart roert zijn staart, en April doet wat hij wil - March stirs its tail and April does what it wants, weatherwise. YEAH! Snooze... um... z... YOW! COR, look at that! Jump out of bed. Eat a bowl of tortelloni, here comes the new SALAD newsletter, 100% high-fibre sponge. CITY ALL OVER! No no no no no no no no no no no no - to quote 2 UNLIMITED - it's April 95 and our album DRINK ME still aint out yet. But fear no more - it's coming soon, with a case of the jitters, critters. It's going to be released into the community on May 15 1998 (Well, 1995 as it happens, but it might as well be 1998, it's taken long enough). We finished the album in September 94 but it's been delayed for various reasons too boring to go into... snooze... z... mmm... CITY ALL OVER! YEAH, GO JOIN YOUR GANG!... But now we're lurking around the corner, waiting to pounce. We're sick of waiting, and making you wait - we've got something good to get off our chests, and we want to get it on to your chests. So... What have SALAD been up to since the last newsletter? well...

We recorded some B-sides for future release. And guess what? They're good. Drink the Elixir was aired during a nightclub scene in THE BILL, but the club was empty. Our parents phoned us up to tell us it was the nonevent of the year. Then we buggered off on the UK gig circuit again. With the most advanced hi-tech recording equipment, we recorded our gig at Moles, Bath, some of which will see the light of day when we're ready, not before we're ready, and not after we're ready. We also did a gig at London's Astoria, filmed by THE BEAT and currently being aired on a television set near you. THEN... At the beginning of March we shot the video for our next single, Motorbike to Heaven - directed by Mouldy - creator of all SALAD vids and part of the extended SALAD family. We share a vision of a parallel world... man. This involved a trip to Biggleswade where Marijne careered around on a throbbing Norton, haring through the countryside. Look out for that catsuit - meow! During March we toured the UK with Carter U.S.M. and THURMAN. Three very different bands - like a three course meal but without the spam. Nice boys all. CATATONIA came to the Welsh one-date leg of the tour in Newport. We took them on at table tennis, Paul wiping the table with all comers. Then it was back to the hotel where Cerys showed her prowess at pool goes hand in hand with her drinking abilities...

It was the final night of our tour with CARTER U.S.M. - at the London Forum. The male members of SALAD turned up for the soundcheck only to find the female member hobbling about on crutches - quelle finale! She'd been in a ballooning accident, according to Melody Maker, but the reality was a stupid foot / bath interface scenario. Marijne is now the proud mother of a broken toe. So, torch song style, she sang the entire gig from a high stool... She still went for it though. As this goes to press she's still nursing the pesky thing. However it didn't stop her doing some DJing at an 'Indie Club' [Club X at Bagley's], and she'll be back in footular action for the next spate of gigs.

Then Marijne and Paul set off on a short promotional jaunt around Germany and France doing interviews till their mouths fell off. "So how did you get the name SALAD?" They almost missed a plane, Marijne hobbling down an endless corridor to the wrong departure gate. At the other airports we got her escorted by wheelchair-wielding young boys in white coats, to her delight. One of the planes had propellers. Paul had to concentrate very hard to keep it in the sky. We did some TV and radio appearances, playing acoustic versions of Granite Statue and Overhear Me, snippets of which may appear on our long-form video (whenever that comes out). When we returned to England we were back in England.

SALAD NEWSLETTER - FEBRUARY 1995

Ladies and gentlemen - No smoking. The postman's testicles, ladies and gentlemen. Your luggage please. I'm pissed off, as you can see. The bakery is straight ahead. The house is nice. The birds sings with its fingers three times. Listen! The cat sits on the mat. Thank you!

Hello... We're SALAD. Nice of you to invite us into your home tonight. Where's the beer? This is the second SALAD newsletter, lying in an envelope near you soon! (Though by the time you've read it, that's rubbish.) It's February 1995. The start of a new year. Well a couple of days into it in fact. So... What have SALAD been up to since the last newsletter? Well... we toured our arses off and released nothing. This is what happened... Between October and December we gigged Europe - Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium, Holland, France, Switzerland, U.K. It was touring - adventure, fights, exhilaration, boredom, intoxication, fun and work. In the last newsletter we promised you some anecdotes (why the fuck did we do that! Doh!...) so here's a few highlights 'n' lowlifes... We set out for Berlin in a night liner - sleeping compartments, video lounge where erotic vids could be viewed in comfort. The next day it was Madge's birthday, when she had 2 meals for lunch to celebrate (she liked the look of Paul's herrings). We played with German band THROW THAT BEAT (they were with us in England too, did you catch them?) Very good but definitely an acquired taste, like brussels sprouts (nurnburg sprouts?).

In Kiel Paul put his had to some improvised Debussy in the dressing room - he can't play the piano, it was superb! Hamburg proved to be hairy, every permed hair waiter must have been an off duty porn actor. As it happens, Hamburg's Markhalle (gig venue) lends itself very well to scaled up chess games on the checkered floor, especially good when roadies are trying to lift gear over the same piece of floor. Dusseldorf was our last German date and time to say farewell to THROW THAT BEAT (for now) so we toasted it with a final encore, both bands on stage singing TTB's classic 'Some alien from outer space must have fuck(ed) my mother one fine day, one fine day, one fine day.' (You had to be there.) Stockholm sold out to a heaving crowd of young and beautiful boys and girls. The other highlight was BMG's Bjorn taking us out for a hot dog... 'It's paid for by Elvis'. Dutch radio invited us and DONE LYING DOWN to perform some live music. DLD were very excellent - we were good too. Played Drink the Elixir, Granite Statue, On a Leash and Your Ma. Marijne was tackled by the Dutch DJ (not easy as it happens).

The next day we played Amsterdam with DODGY, ASH, DONE LYING DOWN, HUGE BABY and POWDER. Some of you came down and had a picnic. The day after that DLD popped up again, this time disguised as COMPULSION in their soundcheck (from the outside it sounded like the DJ was playing Mall Monarchy, in fact it was DLD live. Then came the local French couscous restaurant with a palm tree beach scene in one corner and a juke box with THE BREEDERS' Cro-Aloa on it in the other. We danced. Very Kitsch. Not nice was the 12 hour overnight drive from Paris (France) to Bern (Switzerland). Consequently because the Swiss are very generous with their beer and food, we had a massive food orgy when we arrived at the venue. Switzerland was very welcoming, they do good cheese and give good house! (Especially if it's a pad on Lake Geneva.) They like long sets in Europe and British bands usually disgrace themselves with 40 mins sets, when what is expected is more like 2.5 hours. In Vevey we gave 1.25. Almost there. Alongside Reading 94 and Stockholm it was up there with the best! However Bienne was a different tale. In the former gas works Blue Metal dome Marijne was more interested in beating up the crowd than entertaining them (that time of month?)

Back in Blighty MTV invited us on to MOST WANTED. SALAD played the only version they'll ever do of These Boots are Made for Walking. Paul lost his guitar strap on On a Leash and played on his knees, the highlight of the performance for some. In Southampton Pete was handed a tape of Albanian folk music by an appreciative fan who enjoys the Eastern European sounding intro tapes that Pete writes for the band. Talking of Pete... this is the winner... Imagine the scene. A moderate quaint hotel in Plymouth. Pete Brown gets up from his crumpled bed to consume an ample breakfast downstairs in the dining room where he'll meet the rest of his bandmates. However, Pete wishes to clean his teeth first before tucking into his sausage and beans. There's a toothbrush but no toothpaste. Instead of doing the expected, like asking his room mate if he has some, Pete Brown (bass player to SALAD as he announced himself on Greater London Radio) comes downstairs complaining of strange tasting food due to the fact that he has just washed his teeth with SOAP! Same hotel: Marijne - "You have to look out of your bedroom window - there's a submarine down there." Pete - "Is it underwater?"

We met an old schoolmate of Tom Jones who served us breakfast in a pub in Glamorgan (Wales) before he had his nose job. We played some Sonic and shared a dressing room with DET-RI-MENTAL and THE NUBILES in Sheffield. Three cheers for big sweaty Tarar. We stayed in the worst hotel ever but gatecrashed the SMASH HITS do at one of the nicest - why is it always that way round? In December we buzzed off to Amsterdam with photographer Martin Parr. We're using the pics on our forthcoming singles and album. The cover of DRINK THE ELIXIR was actually taken in a cafe in Broadstairs. We nipped in there while the sea was too rough for ferries. So when we made the video for DRINK THE ELIXIR in January, we went back there for band shots. The rest of the video features Ballroom and Latin dancers and it's great. Talking of moving pictures, we'll be filming a performance for THE BEAT which will be broadcast in March.

SALAD NEWSLETTER - OCTOBER 1996

Hurry hurry hurry! Elephant caught between houses! Thousands injured! Here are some points of interest.

Sep4: We hooked up with Terry Hall to record Dream a Little Dream of Me for the Warchild Help album. Like all bands on the album we had to have our song recorded and mixed by midnight. Producer Stephen Street came up with the goods. TV crews, a string quartet, a dog and a baby and many others waltzed in and out all day, there was no room for egos or tantrums, and a warm belly experience was had by all. We'd wanted Eric Cantona to do the spoken intro but Man U wouldn't let him come out to play, so a passing journalist from The Times did it instead.

Sep 8: Recorded 1st version of I Want You. Fairly acoustic. It's staying in the vaults for now, but may see the light of day.

Sep 12: Savoy Hotel, London, for the Mercury Music Awards. No we didn't get nominated. We were there cos we wuz asked to do Dream a Little Dream with Terry Hall (see above), and a different string quartet (drawn from the LSO) who had to be taught the song in half an hour before we performed. The string arranger had gone on holiday, causing a gret panic, but returned unexpectedly, and was roped in to save our skin. We pulled it off.

Oct 6: Marijne gets fringe cut.

Oct 11: Egham College gig (warm-up for London gig at ULU). Marijne hates Paul's trousers. Paul agrees. Paul throws trousers out of window. After the gig they are returned to him by student messenger "Has anyone got the balls to owning these?". "Yes" says Paul. When officious student runt has left, trousers go back out of window again, this time doused with alchohol and pockets gull of margerine to deter petty thieves. TV throwing is for Oasis. We prefer trousers, pillows and flowers.

Nov 1: Start French tour with Black Grape and McAlmont - 'Les Inrockuptibles'. Fucking good laugh. The Grape were excellent and Kermit and Bez were mad for us, Bez doing his goggle eyed dance to our set and telling us having kids "keeps him stable".

Nov 6: Gig in Toulouse with the Grape, Supergrass, and Cast, who have firework display to remind us Brits of Guy Fawkes. A stray rocket hit John Power in the arse.

Nov 8: Start tour of Holland, Belgium, Germany and Switzerland with the brilliantly Swedish Salt sup- porting. Strangely, in Holland people keep asking for Ici Les Amigos. We say "No - We haven't rehearsed it".

Nov 9: Pete con- templates leaving the band.

Nov 10: Great gig in Hamburg. Pete changes his mind.

Nov 11: Berlin. Have idea to get Chubby Brown in Motorbike to Heaven - "Heaven, heaven, where the fuck is heaven?" But Smokey got him first.

Nov 14: Frankfurt. Nina from Salt tells Paul that On a Leash is an evergreen song. He thinks Evergreen are a band. What a twat.

Nov 17: Fribourg, Switzerland. Tourism brochure in the hotel describes the town as "academic, historical, but always foolish".

Dec 2: Athens. Radio interview - question for prize: "Where are Salad on the cover of Singles Bar?" Listener phones in - "On the front cover" Weird at the gig to hear Greek teenagers singing - "Live in a house in Kent" Then to club held in our honour. Flyers: "Meet Marijne and the boys". Gee, thanks. Rob spins some discs to the derision of the locals.

Jan 2: Went to Archway. Paid £2.80 for a swin - total waste of time. Fun Pool full of kids. Impossible to have proper swin. Sayed in for ten minutes. Woops, wrong diary.

Jan 23: At NMD Brat Awards, Paul to singer of Northern Uproar. "Hey, it's Leon The Pig Farmer." Leon: "No. Not Leon the pig farmer. Just Leon".

Feb 7: Start French tour.

Feb 14: Paris. Paul & Marijne do French TV show. One of the guests is a Bardot lookalike porn star with the biggest tits we've ever seen. Do Drink The Elixir live. Marijne forgets to do the 2nd verse.

Mar 1: White Room. We do Girl Don't Come with Sandie Shaw. Afterwards the legen that is Sandie says to Marijne "That was absolutely crap!" Marijne's jaw drops to the floor. Sandie - "Only kidding!" Sandie currently works as a psychoanaylist to stage artists.

Mar 11: Start recording the new album. We've been working on and sifting through, loads of new songs for months. Today is first day of recording proper and Rob does his back in humping gwar upstairs to studio. Doh! So we start with drumless acoustic song Broken Bird. It rocks.

Mar 13: Recording I Want You but Marijne's come down with debilitating cold and is unable to sing for a month. Great! We all get on with the music anyway.

Apr 23: Paul & Marijne fly to New York on band business. However, over Atlantic plane turns back to Heathrow. Outer skin of door plus an escape slide have fallen off. 5 Hour flight from London to London. Met by fire engines who put out smoking undercarriage (Paul's) and have to be towed into terminal. Cue front page of Daily Telegraph.

Apr 29: Go to New York again.

May 24: Play Swis Festival. A journo to us - "Are you Shed 7?" Paul: - " No, we're Shed 9. Shed 7 are over there between Shed 6 and Shed 8". May 31. Evreux Festival, France. Rob lost his passport. "It's OK, I've got another one at home!".

Jun 22: Record Back Street Luv (Curved Air top ten 1971) for Childline Charity LP. Bono, Pulp, Ash, Boyzone etc. Out in Nov?

Jul 5: Sleeve shoot for I Want You. Have to persuade Rob to wear gold suit. Marijne has beehive. The photographer explains to Paul what the concept is. Paul knows - it's his concept.

Jul 19: We'd been begging Pete to bring his sax in every day of recording the album. Every time he came up with a different excuse. "It didn't fit on the back of my bike", "the dog ate my homework", etc. On the final day of recording, at 4 in the morning, Pete finally got his horn out and blew it over Wolves Over Washington.

Aug 6: Start auditions for extra member for live work. Ad states - Female - gtr, keyboards, backing vocals - must be able to do all three. Influences Beatles and Pixies. No flakes.

Aug 14: Auditionee Charley tells us that she's fallen flat on her arse outside the door. She's the one then.

Aug 15: Start rehearsing live set with Charley.

Aug 16: Video I Want You at Frensham Ponds where we did Diminished Clothes. Extras. Sandy and hot. Holidaymakers on the beach. Film 'till night. Marijne gets stung by a bee.

Aug 23: First gig as a five piece, Brighton.

Aug 24: Reading Festival. Pete (bless him) turns up 25 mins before onstage time. Play 5 'new songs'.

Oct 14: Put out more flags! Release new single I Want You with 5 brand new extra tracks. No photos of Pete? It's 'coz he took 'em.