Newsletter 04/1995
Ladies and gentlemen - No smoking. The postman's testicles, ladies and gentlemen. Your luggage please. I'm pissed off, as you can see. The bakery is straight ahead. The house is nice. The birds sings with its fingers three times. Listen! The cat sits on the mat. Thank you!
Hello... We're SALAD. Nice of you to invite us into your home tonight. Where's the beer? This is the second SALAD newsletter, lying in an envelope near you soon! (Though by the time you've read it, that's rubbish.) It's February 1995. The start of a new year. Well a couple of days into it in fact. So... What have SALAD been up to since the last newsletter? Well... we toured our arses off and released nothing. This is what happened... Between October and December we gigged Europe - Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Belgium, Holland, France, Switzerland, U.K. It was touring - adventure, fights, exhilaration, boredom, intoxication, fun and work. In the last newsletter we promised you some anecdotes (why the fuck did we do that! Doh!...) so here's a few highlights 'n' lowlifes... We set out for Berlin in a night liner - sleeping compartments, video lounge where erotic vids could be viewed in comfort. The next day it was Madge's birthday, when she had 2 meals for lunch to celebrate (she liked the look of Paul's herrings). We played with German band THROW THAT BEAT (they were with us in England too, did you catch them?) Very good but definitely an acquired taste, like brussels sprouts (nurnburg sprouts?).
In Kiel Paul put his had to some improvised Debussy in the dressing room - he can't play the piano, it was superb! Hamburg proved to be hairy, every permed hair waiter must have been an off duty porn actor. As it happens, Hamburg's Markhalle (gig venue) lends itself very well to scaled up chess games on the checkered floor, especially good when roadies are trying to lift gear over the same piece of floor. Dusseldorf was our last German date and time to say farewell to THROW THAT BEAT (for now) so we toasted it with a final encore, both bands on stage singing TTB's classic 'Some alien from outer space must have fuck(ed) my mother one fine day, one fine day, one fine day.' (You had to be there.) Stockholm sold out to a heaving crowd of young and beautiful boys and girls. The other highlight was BMG's Bjorn taking us out for a hot dog... 'It's paid for by Elvis'. Dutch radio invited us and DONE LYING DOWN to perform some live music. DLD were very excellent - we were good too. Played Drink the Elixir, Granite Statue, On a Leash and Your Ma. Marijne was tackled by the Dutch DJ (not easy as it happens).
The next day we played Amsterdam with DODGY, ASH, DONE LYING DOWN, HUGE BABY and POWDER. Some of you came down and had a picnic. The day after that DLD popped up again, this time disguised as COMPULSION in their soundcheck (from the outside it sounded like the DJ was playing Mall Monarchy, in fact it was DLD live. Then came the local French couscous restaurant with a palm tree beach scene in one corner and a juke box with THE BREEDERS' Cro-Aloa on it in the other. We danced. Very Kitsch. Not nice was the 12 hour overnight drive from Paris (France) to Bern (Switzerland). Consequently because the Swiss are very generous with their beer and food, we had a massive food orgy when we arrived at the venue. Switzerland was very welcoming, they do good cheese and give good house! (Especially if it's a pad on Lake Geneva.) They like long sets in Europe and British bands usually disgrace themselves with 40 mins sets, when what is expected is more like 2.5 hours. In Vevey we gave 1.25. Almost there. Alongside Reading 94 and Stockholm it was up there with the best! However Bienne was a different tale. In the former gas works Blue Metal dome Marijne was more interested in beating up the crowd than entertaining them (that time of month?)
Back in Blighty MTV invited us on to MOST WANTED. SALAD played the only version they'll ever do of These Boots are Made for Walking. Paul lost his guitar strap on On a Leash and played on his knees, the highlight of the performance for some. In Southampton Pete was handed a tape of Albanian folk music by an appreciative fan who enjoys the Eastern European sounding intro tapes that Pete writes for the band. Talking of Pete... this is the winner... Imagine the scene. A moderate quaint hotel in Plymouth. Pete Brown gets up from his crumpled bed to consume an ample breakfast downstairs in the dining room where he'll meet the rest of his bandmates. However, Pete wishes to clean his teeth first before tucking into his sausage and beans. There's a toothbrush but no toothpaste. Instead of doing the expected, like asking his room mate if he has some, Pete Brown (bass player to SALAD as he announced himself on Greater London Radio) comes downstairs complaining of strange tasting food due to the fact that he has just washed his teeth with SOAP! Same hotel: Marijne - "You have to look out of your bedroom window - there's a submarine down there." Pete - "Is it underwater?"
We met an old schoolmate of Tom Jones who served us breakfast in a pub in Glamorgan (Wales) before he had his nose job. We played some Sonic and shared a dressing room with DET-RI-MENTAL and THE NUBILES in Sheffield. Three cheers for big sweaty Tarar. We stayed in the worst hotel ever but gatecrashed the SMASH HITS do at one of the nicest - why is it always that way round? In December we buzzed off to Amsterdam with photographer Martin Parr. We're using the pics on our forthcoming singles and album. The cover of DRINK THE ELIXIR was actually taken in a cafe in Broadstairs. We nipped in there while the sea was too rough for ferries. So when we made the video for DRINK THE ELIXIR in January, we went back there for band shots. The rest of the video features Ballroom and Latin dancers and it's great. Talking of moving pictures, we'll be filming a performance for THE BEAT which will be broadcast in March.
